i feel so broken

i went to bed last night about midnight maybe 1 am before i fell asleep, this is getting very normal for me. well at 2am i wake up in PAIN... i was having a flashback or the start of one when in my nightmare i went to block stuff from my face/eyes and i scratched my cornea.

the pain i woke to was a scratched cornea and the immediate tears and swelling that follow. i wasnt able to sleep much after that, i called the nurse advice line and they tried to get me a appt, but its a holiday weekend so my options were ER or go to the optometry clinic if it was open. lucky for me it was and amos helped get the kids ready and we got a walk in.

i got lots of drops on my eye for a significant scratch. my eyes were numbed, dilated, antibiotic, ect, a odd fact, i got a "band-aid" contact to help my eye heal... and i as told to be a vampire and avoid sunlight. so i have been, givng myself the drops every 3hrs.

i guess i am broken. its been about since i got my 1st flashback that wouldnt let me sleep for 3days. maybe i should do my VA paperwork for disability, so i can atleast always be able to get meds for myself.